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04 November 2009 @ 07:09 pm
today..  
4 years ago today i got a phone call first thing in the morning that we thought was bullshit. turns out some of it was

i was supposed to quit smoking 4 years ago today...micah said i wasn't. he was right.

4 years ago today seemed like a nightmare that i just couldn't wake up from.

4 years ago today...we had to make a very hard phone call ourselves.

after 4 years i still have a hard time with this whole thing. drama aside...just dealing with the fact that he is gone. i still can hear his voice, his snoring, his laugh, his sexy phone voice, his singing. alas that i cannot go to brooklyn today. one of the major problems i have with leaving nyc..is that i cannot. i have my bench in memorial...it's not the same, but it will do.

yesterday i was listening to the subdivide remix of an interface song. i thought of all the times i went to sleep listening to chris and travis working on stuff. i mentioned berlin the other day...someone thought (as they passed) that i was talking about the band...and of course the remix of Metro came into my head. geez i was sick of that damn remix by the time they were done.

i remember the installation i built for them for the showing for stacy and megan...BIOS/SUBDIVIDE and how he was so proud of it. i was honored to do the things i did for them.

i wish trav's powerbook hadn't died so i could access all the crap on his external harddrive. i want all that arnold prank phone call stuff that chris was so damned fond of. i feel like listening to it, just because it made him smile so much.

there is so much more i remember and wish.....
 
 
Current Music: Front 242- 7 Rain
 
 
 
alice_unboundalice_unbound on November 5th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)
Falling asleep to his music was the best...

Most of all, I miss sharing music with him. I miss the nights we would just sit around my shitty stereo and swap MP3s.

:hugs: