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I'd love to see Chris's reaction to Yo Gabba Gabba.

I so miss him.
Current Mood: sadsad
09 December 2008 @ 10:01 am
that's a long, complicated tale! So I decided to share something ridiculously fluky.

This is one of my many bags:
tote bag

I know he would find it cool and snark worthy at the same time. Every week back in the day, we used to exchange mix tapes. He would mock at the "eclectic" nature of my mixes because I didn't care about genre. Every song title of my mix tapes was a mini-poem so that was the motivation. Of course, my insane voice-overs were just a hot mess.

I'll never forget "Primus sucks, Pixies Rule!" and the epic Joy Division vs. New Order debates :-)
09 December 2008 @ 04:58 am
I've been living off the grid so to speak.

I just wanted to extend my condolences to all his friends and family.

He popped up in my head because I saw something today where he would belt out one of his gigando belly laughs.

Be well all,
28 November 2008 @ 01:12 pm
Does anyone have access to the password for Chris' Hexane MySpace? We've been notified that the account will be closed because it's been dormant too long but don't have the password to update. I'd really hate to see it gone, though I couldn't really tell you why.

If someone has this password, please just log on to show some activity.

24 November 2008 @ 08:08 am
It appears v7 is down, rendering my primary e-mail null. Much as I don't want to let my v7 e-mail address go, I guess I'll have to have a backup.

May I ask who's been paying for v7? I wouldn't mind covering the costs for a few years to keep the site running...

Comments are screened.

Current Location: James' house
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: The Pest
04 November 2008 @ 08:20 pm
i listened to front 242 all day. mostly Pulse. i blasted it in the when driving with the windows all rolled down..wind hitting me in the face. every break or moment in the closed files room had my ipod on blaring.

i've noticed that "Loud" seems to hit me the most now. it used to be "7 rain" or "Unusual." i guess after 3 years the tone has changed some. my ipod also won't seem to play "Unusual" anymore. maybe it's chris telling me..pick a different song dammit! heh.

i bemoaned not being in brooklyn today. i wish i was able to teleport. someone needs to do something about that. ::looks around pointedly at you science geeks that read this::


i think of you often...maybe not every single day..but almost. today has hit me really hard, i put that picture i took of you up on my background at work so i could see your eyes open and looking at me.. so serious...you know the one. the one travis blew up for your funeral. you look serious but yet playful and sweet in that one. almost coy. typical you. i wanted to call your mom today...but i couldn't find the words. i'm still choking them out trying to tell you this. i wish i had called her. Jamie answered the phone a few months ago when i called your mom. he sounded so grown up. you'd be proud of them...you always were.

the thing is i'm still frustrated and angry. i'm not over that part of the grief process yet. denial was easy..even though you had already looked so different in your coffin, it made that pass easily. but...no....not when you were so damn happy and had finally really started making progress in your life. it just still pisses me off.

i have the hardest time crying about this when i'm so damn angry. and dammit i want to cry. i want to sit and be able to sob it all out. the angry tears just don't do it..they just kinda stream down unfelt. it's the racking sobs that i want. and dammit i want you back.

sorry about the rant...i think we all need to do it still...especially today.

there is more that i want to say..but i can't get it out today. i miss you.
04 November 2008 @ 11:46 am
I thought that some of you out there might want to listen to some of Chris's music today: 



And, just a reminder, we're still on for Nov. 8th. Drinks at mt house. Respond if you need directions.
04 November 2008 @ 11:03 am
Three years in and it's not getting any easier.

What would his life be like now? Three years ago, things were really falling into place. He had a great little apartment and wonderful girlfriend. He was stable and happier than I'd ever seen him. He always resisted stability; he thought it was too boring, too mainstream, but he was finally seeing that having a little bit of stability expanded his freedom.

If he were alive now, I'd be spending Thursday nights with him, reading comics, drinking on my terrace, instead of what I do now: going to therapy and then walking around the village alone.

If he were alive right now, he'd be happier than he'd ever been, and I wouldn't feel as lost.
18 October 2008 @ 12:02 pm
I have to trek up north to retrieve the disc of V7 music Chris burned for me...It's only now that I feel comfortable enough putting the whole thing in my iPod and not just the same handful of mp3s I hesitated to transfer.

I know he recorded music prior to his last body, would any of you be willing to privately share? I remember he played some very VERY early work for me when we first dated. I recall it being a more ethereal project, and more of his beautiful voice.

I forget how great a singing voice he had. It breaks my heart a little when I allow 403 to come up on my playlists, and I only have those breathy vocals to remind me of what he sounded like.

Speaking of his music, has anyone seen the Last.fm page for HeXaNe?
Current Location: Bed
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: So Far Away- Carole King
30 August 2008 @ 03:02 pm
I'm now the proud owner of a Blackberry because I pulled a "HEEEEEY, I WANT THAT" when I saw Yanick with one.

Its name is Fingerbang - partly because since I was hanging with Yanick, we talked about Chris a lot and I've decided his Cartman jokes must live on in the form of an electronic device (My iBook is named ping.nerd for a non-South Park related crack he made one night).

Fingerbang has a friend - Baby Bang - my Bluetooth headset. I no longer have to be afraid of getting pulled over by the five-o.

So, I'm available via e-mail, phone and IM 24/7 with my unlimited media bundle. Hit me up.

AIM: geekydelirium
E-mail: singlikeagirl at gmail dot com
Phone: seven three two, four two one, seven four four zero

I miss you guys - stay in touch!
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Apoptygma Berzerk: You Keep Me From Breaking Apart