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17 November 2010 @ 11:51 pm
HEY!! thought you will like to know that Candi_Cruz its now live on dirtystage watch it now.. don miss it!
04 November 2010 @ 08:44 am
i miss you buddy. we lost you 5 years ago today, and it hurts. you were an amazing person, full of life, fun, compassion and intelligence.
04 November 2009 @ 09:10 pm

Not sure if you guys have seen these yet. This was taken on our...past our third date. I picked him up from work at the center and begged him to take me out to the boardwalk at Coney.

We were out on the pier, thinking it was going to rain at any moment. I took a moment where he wasn't paying attention, or thought he wasn't paying attention, then he heard the clack of the shutter and looked back at me.

My scanner's not the best and this was quickie artistic license. He was wearing the green Sad Line Drawing Robot shirt. These are the sister photos to this: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3371/3302590346_c98074a084_o.jpg

Love to you all tonight.
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Devils at Capitals
04 November 2009 @ 07:09 pm
4 years ago today i got a phone call first thing in the morning that we thought was bullshit. turns out some of it was

i was supposed to quit smoking 4 years ago today...micah said i wasn't. he was right.

4 years ago today seemed like a nightmare that i just couldn't wake up from.

4 years ago today...we had to make a very hard phone call ourselves.

after 4 years i still have a hard time with this whole thing. drama aside...just dealing with the fact that he is gone. i still can hear his voice, his snoring, his laugh, his sexy phone voice, his singing. alas that i cannot go to brooklyn today. one of the major problems i have with leaving nyc..is that i cannot. i have my bench in memorial...it's not the same, but it will do.

yesterday i was listening to the subdivide remix of an interface song. i thought of all the times i went to sleep listening to chris and travis working on stuff. i mentioned berlin the other day...someone thought (as they passed) that i was talking about the band...and of course the remix of Metro came into my head. geez i was sick of that damn remix by the time they were done.

i remember the installation i built for them for the showing for stacy and megan...BIOS/SUBDIVIDE and how he was so proud of it. i was honored to do the things i did for them.

i wish trav's powerbook hadn't died so i could access all the crap on his external harddrive. i want all that arnold prank phone call stuff that chris was so damned fond of. i feel like listening to it, just because it made him smile so much.

there is so much more i remember and wish.....
Current Music: Front 242- 7 Rain
Especially when he was in his death metal phase...

I wonder what he would have thought of Dr. Rockso, LOL!
My mother was highly amused.  Hopefully, he's keeping her company upstairs.  I am so thankful for the time I spent with both of them.  The crap times doesn't seem as bad and the good times were elevated to fantastic! 

25 March 2009 @ 07:17 am
 I have a quick question for the AM.

I am going to Greenwood Cemetery to make arrangements later today.  Would someone be able to tell me where Chris is buried at?  I would like to pay him a visit since I'll be in the area.

Please ping me ASAP because I going to be running around like a robot chicken.

Thanks everyone and have a good day!

Current Mood: blankblank
17 March 2009 @ 09:31 pm
micah has been down this weekend. of course we've had a few "chris moments" with him here. i showed him the stone bench i have in my backyard as a memorial for chris (have to, i can't get to brooklyn on a subway anymore)...he joked that it needs some more supports. it made me smile, and think of the time i made chris "squish over!" on the two seater yellow & orange chairs on the N so i could sit with him. practically on him....it was a fun ride. we got some crazy looks....but meh..it was fun anyway.

we randomly decided to watch running man friday night. of course it brought me to all those damn arnold crank calls that chris had and played all the time. i wonder if travis has those somewhere in his computer. i'd like to hear them again.

"closed session" and "sandwiches" of course were played throughout the weekend.

when i see micah, it always brings me thoughts of chris. he introduced us, at that dinner before the haujobb show w/daniel. we all hung out a lot.

he came to our house the day chris was killed. lost...all of us were just lost and in disbelief. sometimes...we still are. sometimes i think he's watching over us. smiling at our little nuances...occasionally shouting out "WHIPPED CREAM!"
15 March 2009 @ 06:49 pm
My son is a baby punk rawker (w/o any encouragement from me.) Today, he told me that he sees music in colors. I guess my synesthesia passed down to him. The colors are most intense when I have a really bad seizure.

I think it's great "seeing sounds!" Hopefully, TinyPunk won't get temporal lobe epilepsy like me.

Music and neurological weirdness would be right up Chris' alley!
Current Mood: amusedamused
16 January 2009 @ 11:07 am
Some of you noticed the Vektor7 website went down sometime before the holidays. The domain had to be renewed, and it was a bit costly.

It's important, I think, for all of us to be able to go there and see his photos and hear his music.

So, I asked Travis for his paypal info so that I, and anyone who wants to, can contribute to its upkeep.

If you can spare a couple of dollars, send it via paypal to: 


19 December 2008 @ 12:41 pm
In a little over 7 hours, I'll have four new short plays read publicly for the first time, and as exciting as it is, it makes me think of Chris. I miss sharing my work with him, and I hate knowing that he will never produce another song. In addition to being best friends, we were serious fans of each others work.

Out of the four, I think I know which ones he's like the best, what parts of me he'd see in them.

I miss you Chris. I've saved you a seat in the back of the theater next to me and Sara.

And, as ever, these plays are dedicated to you.